Friday, May 15, 2009

Question & Answer Time

Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned, it has been 4 months since my last confession.. I mean blog.

Time to open the mailbag, and boy is it bursting.

PacMan34 writes: "You seem to clean up a lot of ektoplasm (sic) at your job. Do you know what the long term effects are of being exposed to that substance?"

Answer: I wear protective gloves when cleaning it up or if it's a really big mess, I'll go put on a hazmat suit. Scares the bejeezus out of my co-workers too. So I don't really get it on my skin at all which is nice because it smells funny. In terms of long term effects, there are none that I'm aware of but some say repeated exposure leads to being able to walk through walls.

_mugwump_ writes: "I'm interested in a career in kicking the ass of hostile aliens and supernatural beings. The Agency looks like the best place to do that. How do I get a job there?"

Answer: Yes, you are right. The Agency is by far the most superior organisation to work for in this industry. Whatever you do, don't get a job with the National Integrated Terrestrial Society or the Alien Operations Groundforce. I hear stories of volunteers being sent to singlehandedly deal with multiple rift ruptures across entire suburbs and we have to go in and clean up the mess. As for working at The Agency, I would suggest you start with volunteer work at HQ - that's how I got started.

HurtnConfused writes: "My boyfriend is an Agent at one of your European Branches. I recently discovered that he has been having with affair with an alternate universe me. When I asked him why, he said that the alternate universe me doesn't nag him as much and has a cute tattoo. What should I do?

Answer: Stop nagging him and get a cute tattoo.

That's all for now. Stay safe in the 'verse.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Life After Conference

Well this week has been interesting..

We played host to the Agency's National Conference. It's held annually at our top secret locale, and this year we had some high-calibre guest speakers including Victorius Vandermink and Ferguson Feckworthy.

Both were absolutely outstanding, but a special mention to Ms Vandermink on her session covering the all important topic of Interdimensional Immigration. I now feel a greater mercy for the displaced and I'll be more understanding the next time the rift opens up and some poor gelatinous life-form plops out claiming refugee status under freedom proclamation #742.

I am extremely exhausted however. I spent most of the conference ensuring proton packs were charged and ready for demonstrations, that the rift was holding and that the auditorium was free from ectoplasm at all times. That kind of diligence takes it's toll after 7 back-to-back sessions of paranormal madness.

My claim to fame though is that I got to fix Ferguson Feckworthy's laptop. Go geek power! It's a Macbook Air and very thin, unlike Mr Feckworthy.

In case you're interested, the sessions were as follows;
Session 1 - Harnessing the Power of the Rift (Ferguson Feckworthy)
Session 2 - Interdimensional Immigration (Victorius Vandermink)
Session 3 - Eliminating Harmful Supernatural Beings (The Director - My Boss!)
Session 4 - Emerging Technology (including a demonstration of the new 7000-series Proton Packs!) (Ferguson Feckworthy)
Session 5 - Taming your Poltergeist (Ferguson Feckworthy)
Session 6 - Field Agent Care (Victorius Vandermink)
Session 7 - The Importance of Surviellance (Ferguson Feckworthy)

That's all from me for now - goodnight!